Friday, August 29, 2008

I Like Tongue Cleanings

Toothbrush Update: The bumpy sides on backs of toothbrushes are for your tongue. Who knew?

Shame on you, popular media: The number of times Barack Obama has appeared on the cover of TIME magazine in the past 6 months? 8 times. For McCain?1 time (and that one time, Obama was on the cover with him).

My favorite childhood Obama song: Obama and Popular Media sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Thoughts on Obama: Electing Obama will set a dangerous precident for future elections. First, we elect a half-black president, then what's next? A pure black president?! After that point, it's only a hop, skip, and a jump before we let monkeys start running the White House. Allow me to explain. According to the out-of-Africa theory of evolution, Africans are lower on the evolutionary ladder than everyone else (and just above the monkeys) because they never had to deal with the long harsh winters of the northern climates. Here's what innovations report says:

Race Differences and the Out-of-Africa theory of Human Origins. East Asian-White-Black differences fit the theory that modern humans arose in Africa about 100,000 years ago and expanded northward. During prolonged winters there was evolutionary selection for higher IQ created by problems of raising children, gathering and storing food, gaining shelter, and making clothes.

In conclusion, a vote for Barack Obama is a vote for simian takeover, enslavement of the human race, and worst of all, eltist apes riding around on horseback.

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