Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I Like Urinating

Urination: Choosing which urinal to use can be a pretty tough decision. There's so many different factors to consider and it can easily get overwhelming. But do not be daunted; Bacon Chedda is here to help you wade through the crap about urinals.

The Urinal Buffer: It is standard bathroom etiquette to allow a urinating man at least one urinal to his left and one urinal to his right. Otherwise, it's just kid of creepy. Note: this rule can be ignored if there is a divider between urinals.

Wall Urinals: Typically, in a five urinal bathroom, there will be one urinal that is right next to the wall and another that is right next to a stall. Personally, I feel claustrophobic having to pee with a wall right next to my face, but if you're the type that enjoys privacy this could actually be a plus. The most important thing is to know yourself.

Law of Increasing Urine: There is an inverse relationship between the distance of a urinal from the door and the nastiness of the urinal. The reasoning is fairly simple: urgent peers just rush through the door and pee at the nearest urinal. So if you're not in much of a hurry, then feel free to place higher value on the urinals furthest from the door.

The Alternative: Some people pee in stalls. As an environmentalist, I condemn this giant waste of water, but hey, if you want to be a girly-man, go for it.

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