Sunday, November 30, 2008

I Like Baking

Food: I had a Mexican Chicken sandwich today, which was really a chicken, salsa, cream cheese, avocado panini. And it was good.

Football: The Colts seem to be doing well. INDIANA FTW!

Pants: Is it just me or do most jeans look pretty much exactly the same?

Korea: I never knew what an oven was until I came to America. So I did a quick little search and google tells me that Koreans do not, in fact, use ovens. At first, I thought this was curious, but then I realized, "Koreans don't bake!"

Honey, the oven is glowing purple!

photo: mrebert

Saturday, November 29, 2008

I Like Giving

I Just Don't Understand: Why do people leave video messages on Facebook where it's just them lip syncing to a song they're playing on their computer? Do they think they are being comical and/or original?

Charities: I don't understand why charities don't just give money to people instead of objects. How can we possibly know what their priorities are or how that money could best be used? For example, what if Cambodian children need food, but instead of sending them food, we just send them laptops? The best we can do is give poor people money so that they can spend it on what they think is best for themselves. If they think education is more important than having lunch, then that's fine. Let them have an education. The primary concern seems to be that they would just waste the money, but really, who are you to judge what others think is important to them?

photo: danzden

Friday, November 28, 2008

I Like Tea

Gifts: My family received some green tea castella as a present and it is much better than cheesecake. It's not excatly Bonchon, but at least it's not cheesecake either.

Facebook: Why in the world did they create a poke feature for Facebook? A poker contributes absolutely nothing of value and only embarrasses himself while simultaneously drawing the hatred of others. My guess is that this button was designed by a trollfag who found traditional trolling methods way too time consuming.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I Like Skinny People

Happy Thanksgiving, you guys!

Quest for the Nobel Prize: Today, I will solve the obesity epidemic that is prevalent in America and I'm sure will spread to other countries as they themselves become wealthier. I will do this by giving some advice to fat people. Fat people, chew your food more! I lost about 20 pounds after I started chewing my food properly. Don't be in such a hurry to wolf down that big mac, big man. This may seem like pretty obvious advice, but you'd be surprised how many times I see people just showing their sandwich down their throat.

You can thank me later.

Speaking of shoving things down your throat...

photo: malias

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I Like You

Islam: Have you guys noticed that Muslim women wearing hijabs look like ninjas? It's like every day is Halloween for them. You know, without the candy or the front yard full of toilet paper.

Full House: Joey is not actually related to anyone else in the house. How creepy.

Animals: Gorillas can die of loneliness. Like Old Greg!

On an unrelated note: Attention, White House officials. Please do not leave Obama in a room by himself.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I Like Automobiles

Christmas: You guys, I saw a green car with a red bumper today. I'm guessing it was either because the owner was too poor (too cheap?) to get a fresh paint job or because it's getting to be that time of year and she was feeling festive.

Luxuries: I really like the butt heaters the fancy cars. Nothing makes you feel more like royalty than having a warm ass in 20 degree weather.

School: I had to go to math competition in a school-bus today and it was terrible! Riding in one always gives me BUS RAGE! Government officials, I demand that you create legislation requiring every poorly-built school-bus to immediately install butt heaters. I'm not asking for the magic school-bus here, just a warm butt on my ride to school!

(Click image below to enlarge)

Monday, November 24, 2008

I Kinda Liked Blade

Movies: Twilight is a Blade ripoff. Come on! A story about a vampire that fights other vampires? It was bad enough that they made three Blade films, did they really have to make a fourth one?

Commercials: I just saw a tide commercial about how Tide went down to Texas to do people's laundry for free. Really?! Now, I'm not exactly the head of FEMA, but I have to assume that clean sheets are not exactly the first thing on someone's mind after their house just got torn apart by a hurricane.

photo: Kekoah

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I Like Textmoticons

Emoticons: Some software changes your text emoticons ( <3) to actual emoticons (♥). But what if I need to use these in their literal sense. For example 2<3 (two is less than three). But if I wrote that on someone's facebook wall, it would post as 2♥. Shame on you, software designers, shame on you.

Koreans: Why is it that Koreans are always looking at themselves in the mirror? Every time I go to use my school's restroom, there's always at least one Korean who's coming his hair and whatnot, but I rarely see white people doing this type of thing. My theory is that Korean pop stars (e.g. T.O.P.) look like they've put in a lot of effort into their appearance while American pop stars do the opposite (e.g. Britney Spears). So because everyone emulates what they see on tv, the Korean people emulate the hard work the Korean celebrities put into their hair and white people emulate the people who look like they just got out of bed.

Must be a Korean cat

photo: law_keven

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I Like Picking on People

For the Bookface Addicts: You guys, I clicked a link on Bumper Stickers that was like, "Can't see your stickers? Click here." Now all my stickers are gone and I'm very angry. Today was not a good day.

Awards: So the National Science Teacher's Association gave me an award a while ago. And along with the award came a gimmicky pencil-holder/clock/flashing light deal. I hope I don't get a seizure while reaching for a pencil and checking the time.

Question of the day: This question is for the gay rights activists. If it's okay to be gay, what's wrong with being a pedophile? Or a necrophile for that matter.

Friday, November 21, 2008

I Like Fox News

News: DL Hughley has a show on CNN. First of all, you know that title "Most respected cable news station" you have? YOINK! Now, I'm sure the man is more than competent as a political analyst, but I have to ask: SERIOUSLY?! Let's forget for a moment that this show is a bastard replica of the Daily Show, let's forget for a moment that the NN in CNN stands for News Network, not Comedy Central, let's forget for a moment that Breaking the News with DL Hughley is possibly one of the worst shows I have ever watched, DL Hughley is a terrible comedian who's completely unoriginal and can't tell late-night style jokes. Shame on you, CNN, shame on you!

This is what you get for hiring DL Hughley!

photo: Esteban Trigos

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I Like Scrubs

Scrubs is my life: My father told me he knew a lawyer named Ted and it was good. Now if only I could meet someone named Dr. Beardface, my life would be complete.

Chinese: At my local Chinese restaurant, they only serve crackers to the white people. Oh, the delicious irony.

Tu Casa: Victorian houses scare me. The only time I would enjoy living in a Victorian house is Halloween, and even then, not so much because I don't celebrate Halloween.

Communications: What's the point of video chatting? Is it to make people feel awkward? Because if it is, then it is working perfectly!

If I was alive during the salem witch trials, I would totally have searched these houses first.

photo: Oracio Alvarado

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I Like Time

Fetters: I forgot to wear a watch today and I realized just how often I check the time. I have become a slave of the space-time continuum!

Roflcopout of the Day:

photo: pearls before swine

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I Like Technology

Star Wars: So apparently, CNN has hologram technology at hand. This is absolutely ridiculous. There is no reason for such a respected news network to resort to such technical chicanery, or Lou Dobbs for that matter. Kidding, Dobbs. Don't deport me!

Men in Black: Scientists have figured out how to selectively erase memory from mice. So in about twenty years, kids are gonna be watching Men in Black thinking, "Oh. I have one of those flashy memory eraser sticks in my dresser." Obviously, this isn't nearly as bad as cloning soulless babies, but I have to believe that once this technology becomes commercially available, a lot of girls are going to be waking up after a long night of drinking, asking the stranger next to them, "Oh my god, did you flashy-thing me?" only to be flashy-thinged back to sleep.

Before America's first black president was elected, the world's first black hologram was created. It was a groundbreaking moment for 2 dimensional African Americans everywhere.
photo: hfabulous

Monday, November 17, 2008

I Like Juniors in Mint!

Question of the Day: Why do some people think that it's natural to be gay, but unnatural to be scared of them or to hate them? If it's impossible to control who you love, then how is it possible to control who you fear or hate?

Junior Mints: I would like them more if they didn't make everything else taste worse.

DMV: People are herded around like sheep at the DMV and it's ridiculous. People just mindlessly follow the person in front of them and they have policemen to keep them in line. And forget about trying to talk to the people who work there. I needed something renewed and no one understood that it was because my visa had expired and not my license even though the first thing I said when I walked up to anyone was, "I need my license renewed because my old visa expired." By the end of the of the ordeal, I was begging for the sweet release of death.

These people at the DMV look rather rowdy today.

photo: James @ NZ

Sunday, November 16, 2008

I Like Shoes

Shoes Smell: I like the smell of new shoes. It's probably some toxic mixture of shoe freshener and rubber and I'm kind of scared it's going to slowly kill me. This would be the least awesome way to die, second only, perhaps, to having a heart attack while frightening the blue veined custard chucker.

Speaking of New Shoes: What's up with these ice creams? They look like clown shoes and I don't understand why anybody would wear them.

Shoe Naming: Why aren't there any shoes named after white people? LeBron James, Allan Iverson, Air Jordan... Why they ain't nobody got a pair of Yao Mings?

Saturday, November 15, 2008

I Like Geography

Chain Mail: Janeaca over at Shawty Talks "tagged me" to write 6 random things about myself and tag 6 other people to do the same. So here goes nothing!

Random Fact #1: While I do not mind taking out the time to write things about myself that no one reads (I do it everyday for this blog), I refuse to respond to chain mail or any variation of chain mail.

Random Fact #2: This "tagging" deal sounds exactly like chain mail to me.

Random Fact # 3: I have few principles, but I stick to them.

Geography: Munroe is a genius. See his comic below.

Friday, November 14, 2008

I Like Commercials

Milestones: 100th post! Woo hoo! I LOVE ROUND NUMBERS!!!!

Commercials: That free credit report song is stuck in my head! But I don't want to reinforce their branding, so whenever I sing the song, I replace the words "credit report" with "intercourse". I haven't felt this excited over a commercial since Dunkin Donuts' Fritalian commercial.

Strange Talk: I've never heard anyone call someone buddy in a positive way. It's always something like"You've got some nerve, buddy!" Please correct this problem, general populace.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I Like Not Poisoned Food

Questions of the Day: What's the deal with blueberry bagels? I can never taste the blueberry! Blueberry bagels are the placebos of the baked breakfast goods industry.

Questionable Bagels: I was having a bagel at debate today and it smelled lemony. I'm not sure if it was the flavoring or the Lysol.

Movies: You guys, I just watched Tropic Thunder. It wasn't a very good movie really. The first half was much more enjoyable than the second half.

Favorite line: Tugg Speedman- [as Simple Jack] You make my pee-pee maker t-t-tingle.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I Like Foot Massages

Chewing Gum: You guys, I hate chewing gum! It's this wad of rubber in your mouth and it feels like food, but it isn't! Gum is only slightly better than Chinese water torture.

Candy: Korean people have rice flavored candy. You know, just in case you feel your life is getting a little too exciting.

Democrats: Obama and Biden remind me of Jules Winfield and Vincent Vega from Pulp Fiction.

Can you guess which one is Obama?

photo: minifig

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I Like Drinking Fries

Nature, you scary: You guys, hippopotamuses (hippopotomi?) scare me! They have gigantic mouths and weigh 500 pounds. You know. Like your mother.

Drinks: I like Juice. Juice is just pressed fruit. Simple, yet delicious. That's why I think we should start juicing up other foods. So guys that run Jamba Juice, please start stocking up on "fresh-squeezed" french fries.

Speaking of Juice: Juice cartons always say something like, "an 8oz cup is two whole servings of fruit!" but milk cartons never say, "an 8oz cup is two whole servings of cow tit extract." Strange.

Juice is fruit for lazy people.

photo: aim and shoot

Monday, November 10, 2008

I Like I Like

Cake: Someone thought it would be a good idea to buy me a cheesecake. I hate cheesecake. They should have gotten me some Bonchon.

Blog: You might have noticed a little check box down at the bottom of my posts that say "I Like" and wondered What in the world is that about? I have not a single clue why that button is there. Well, I put the button there so that if you have enjoyed the particular blog post located directly above said button, you can click it. That way, I can figure out what you guys like and appropriately improve my blog (read: inflate my ego). Enjoy?

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I Like Impressions

Family Values: I was watching an episode of Full House yesterday, and on the show, Jesse and Joey wouldn't let Michelle be the Yankee Doodle of their 3rd grade class play because there was a kid that was "a better Yankee Doodle." Later on, they stop feeding her and kick her out of the house because she's not "pulling her weight."

Roflcopout of the Day:

Saturday, November 8, 2008

I Like Bento

Things I don't understand: I live in arguably one of the most liberal states in the country. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that Obama was going to carry the state. So why is it that so many people were campaigning for him? Due to our electoral process, it didn't matter whether he won by half a point or 50 points, so I have to believe that all those campaigners were really just wasting their time. The same goes for McCain supporters as well. Neither camp's activists would be able to change the results anyways, so what's the point?

Crazyness: Japanese people can get arrested for killing off an avatar of another person in an online world. First, human tetris, and now this? Japanese people are crazy.

Friday, November 7, 2008

I Like Milestones

Wow. It's been exactly 3 months since I started this blog and going strong. So for this 3 month anniversary, I just wanted to take the time out to say, "Wow, you guys really have nothing better to do, huh?". Now, I have yet to come up with a business model for this blog, but I promise that even if there's a nuclear holocaust and zombies are ravaging the planet for the brains of the two remaining human survivors, as long as the other guy's reading my blog, I'll keep writing.

My 3 favorite blog posts:
  1. I Like Korean Snacks Part II
  2. I Like Birds Flying High
  3. I Like Nobel Prizes

(Throwback: Here's a link to my first ever blog post.)

Thursday, November 6, 2008

I Like Hot Sauce

Strange Tastes: Is it just me or do other people enjoy eating hot sauce by itself too?

Stranger Tastes: Who was the first person that decided to eat seaweed? That must have been gross. I guess it's kind of like the first guy that tests out a bungee cord: you close your eyes and hope for the best. (that's what she said)

Strangest Tastes: Korean people eat raw beef. Let me repeat that once more for emphasis: RAW BEEF. It's called yukhoe and it is arguably the most primal, animalistic food I have ever seen. I swear, the next thing you know, you're going to see packs of Koreans roaming the country side, howling at the moon and feasting on the blood of your cattle.

Needs a little hot sauce.

photo: avlxyz

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I Used to Like Pirate's Booty

Subliminal Porn: You guys, I just noticed that the Pirate's Booty guy's chin looks exactly like a nutsack! I will never be able to eat his delicious puffed rice snacks the same way again.

Politics: Will the populace riot? Let's wait and see.

photo: robscape

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I Like Snow White

Junk Food: Who would buy Doritos Fusions? These "fusions" are actually just two flavors of Doritos put into one bag. Wouldn't the two flavors eventually mix together into an amalgam of strange taste?

Soda: I always feel funky drinking soda by itself. It just tastes like sugar water to me. That's why I always put French Vanilla ice cream in my coco-cola.

Hooter's Energy Drink: Is there anything giant boobies can't do?

Korean Energy Drink of Choice: Bacchus F

Monday, November 3, 2008

I Like Living

Fat Food: So apparently, there is this gigantic monstrosity called the KFC Famous Bowl. Apparently, one mashed potato famous bowl contains mashed potatoes (duh!), sweet corn, chicken, gravy, cheese, 740 calories, and 2350 mg's of sodium. Ignoring the fact that eating this stuff is only slightly better than chugging arsenic, how lazy do you have to be to want all your food in one bowl? Seriously, the only way you could get any lazier was if the bowl came with a man to spoon feed you.

Christmas: You guys, I went shopping today and all the stores already had their Christmas lights up! I can tell you one thing: these stores aren't going to win the international procrastination award anytime soon.

Bonchon: 1 - Colonel Sanders: 0

photo: morton fox

Sunday, November 2, 2008

I Like Sugar

Sweet Tooth: You guys, I had a sandwich today! Except instead of bread, there was rice krispies squares and instead of meat, there was marshmallow and oreo cookies. So basically, it was rice kripies square, marshmallow, oreo crumbs, and rice krispies square. It was absolute ridiculousness. Of course, ten minutes after I ate it, all my teeth fell out and immediately began rotting at my feet. Chewing a flaming sheet of aluminum foil would have been better for my teeth than eating this monstrosity.

Dumb Numbers: I was listening to the radio and there was a call taxi ad that said "our number is easy to remember because it's 666-6666." Why are they bringing attention to the fact that their phone number is also the number of the beast? That's kind of scary. I would not want to be driven around by a company with that phone number.

Nom Nom Nom

photo: stickyii

Saturday, November 1, 2008

I Like Bagels

Bagels: They're too hard to cut! Seriously, if a varsity wrestler can't cut a stupid cinnamon raisin bagel from stop and shop, who can? And forget about trying to cut your bagel right after you've woken up. I cannot tell you guys how many times I have cut myself for the deliciousness of bagels.

Side Note: Lox and cream cheese makes the best shmear. Scallion comes in at a close second.

Wanted: The most ridiculous movie ever. It's got fight scenes and plot twists coming out the wazoo. The assassins in the movie can block each other bullets by shooting another bullet at it! What?! Absolutely ridiculous.

You can put Nutella on a bagel?! My friend, you have just blown my mind.

photo: Incase Designs