Shoes Smell: I like the smell of new shoes. It's probably some toxic mixture of shoe freshener and rubber and I'm kind of scared it's going to slowly kill me. This would be the least awesome way to die, second only, perhaps, to having a heart attack while frightening the blue veined custard chucker.
Speaking of New Shoes: What's up with these ice creams? They look like clown shoes and I don't understand why anybody would wear them.
Shoe Naming: Why aren't there any shoes named after white people? LeBron James, Allan Iverson, Air Jordan... Why they ain't nobody got a pair of Yao Mings?