Thursday, April 30, 2009

I Like Fishsticks in My Mouth

I know! I know! Sorry about the lateness, but I only thought of it as I was listening to love lockdown today.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I Like Clever Songs

In the Do-Re-Mi song from Sound of Music, La is a "note to follow so." But, aren't the rest all notes that follow the ones before them? How stupid.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I Love /b/

Warning: This post is for newfags.

Alright, so the Time's most influential people online poll results came out yesterday. If you look carefully, you'll spot a clever prank. But pretty much everyone I showed it to did not get the joke, so I'll explain it for you guys. Don't read ahead if you want to figure it out yourself.


Read the description for the first man: moot. Now, read the first letter of each name until you get to the 21st name. It should spell out something. So why did this occur? Is it just a remarkable coincidence? Actually, basement dwellers all over the world the people who regularly visit 4chan (i.e. me), collectively ejaculated after finding out that our beloved moot (the creator of 4chan) was finally nominated for the poll. As such, we worked together to pick the top 21 most influential people and the order that they would be in.

Internet heroes, I salute you.

Monday, April 27, 2009

I Like Chinese Gangs

Whenever I see people talking on a cell phone in Chinese, I like to pretend that a member of the Triad is on the other line threatening them to pay back their loans. It makes my life interesting.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

I Don't Have to Tell You How Much I Like This Post

I don't understand why people use the phrase, "I don't have to tell you" as in, "I don't have to tell you how terrible it was." If they don't have to tell us, why don't they just keep their mouths shut?

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I Like Giraffes

AP's suck.

Friday, April 24, 2009

I Like Feeling the Force

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut?

You see, an Astronaut walks ON the moon. Michael Jackson, fucks little kids.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I Like Hogwarts SNAPS

Remember when Yo Mama jokes were funny? Me neither. But here's one from reppocs!

Yo momma so black, she’d probably get sorted into Ravenclaw and would be a minor character at best.

(PS-Click the image to enlarge it.)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I Like Sandara

Has anyone else noticed that Sandara Park is dressed as Pebbles from the Flintstones in this music video?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I Love My Third Wife

Why is gay marriage allowed in some states while polygamy remains illegal all across the US?

Monday, April 20, 2009

I Like 420

It's Hitler's Birthday today, you guys! Speaking of Hitler, there was an article in The Journal about how Jews were going to bring baseball bats to a peaceful Neo-Nazi march and beat them up. Now, I'm all for people taking extralegal action (my personal hero being George Bush), but I can't help but remember the last time the Jews tried to take on the Nazis.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I Like Being Lazy

I know I've gotten lazy because I take breaks from playing one video game so that I can play another video game.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

I Like Believable Stories

I like watching Gilmore Girls, but one problem I have with it is that the premise is so far-fetched. How is it that the Asian girl, Lane, ends up working as a waiter, but the white girl from a single mother, Rory, ends up going to Yale? It's the complete opposite of what would happen in real life!

Friday, April 17, 2009

I Like.. I Don't Know What.

Isn't this guy just stealing Nevel's bit?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Hey! I Like Biggie Smalls...

Yo momma got one big tittie, and one little tittie, and they call the bitch "Biggie Smalls."

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I Like Empanadumplings

You guys, empanadas are just fried dumplings in disguise!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I Like My Archos

Is it just me, or does "iTouch" sound like a sign that convicted sex offenders have to wear while they're introducing themselves to the neighbors?

Monday, April 13, 2009

I Like Clicking it Over and Over

You know what's more fun than reading this blog? Coming to this blog and clicking refresh!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I Like My Books Hard and Firm

Paperback books are for poor people.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

I Like Round Numbers

You guys, this is my 250th post! So, thanks for reading?

(PS-If you guys don't know what the deal with the picture is, it's supposed to be Bob Ross)

Friday, April 10, 2009

I Like FAQ's of Life

When I was younger, I thought FAQ's was just another way of saying "Facts".

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I Like Branford for One Reason

I have come to the realization that the only reason I want to go to Yale is because of Gilmore Girls. OTL

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I Like Frosted Butt Cakes

What the hell is the point of "facebook pages"? It's just like twitter.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I Like Winning

I am noticing myself treating everyday activities as games of you laugh, you lose.

Monday, April 6, 2009

I Like Pearls Before Swine

As a blogger, I like to pride myself in my sense of humor. Which makes me all the more sad that I still have no idea what the hell Charlie Brown comics are about! Seriously, the punch line is harder to find than a yarmulke in a nazi bar.

Sunday, April 5, 2009


How to get into the New Jersey Scholars Program:

Wear a pinstripe suit. It shows you mean business.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

I Like Mini Malls

Q: Why do Jews have big noses?

A: Because air is free.

Friday, April 3, 2009

I Like Things in Tubes

Bacon. In a tube. Oh lawdy.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I Like Car Seat Porn

A black man, a Mexican, and a Chinese man walk into a bar. The bartender says to them, "Get the fuck out."

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I Like My Nice Horrible Tie

At today's debate I wore a purple tie and I was quick to learn that purple tie sounds a lot like horrible tie when heard from far away.