Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I Like Legitimate Frozen Yogurt Vendor Names

Red Mango, Inc.Image via Wikipedia

Red Mango does not serve mango flavored yogurt and their mango toppings are yellow. Are you joking? What kind of stunt are you trying to pull, Red Mango? Innocent customers are walking into your place of residence expecting the greatest crimson tropical fruit experience of their lives, only to walk away severely disappointed. Shame on you, Red Mango. Your false advertising has left a bitter taste in my mouth that not even your delicious frozen yogurt can cure.
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Monday, August 24, 2009

Dog fighting is Pokemon for grownups.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Modern Day Philosophy: If I write a blog post and no one ever reads it, does it make a sound?
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Thursday, August 20, 2009

I Like Dunking Donuts

I was watching a Korean dating show today and it was this Korean girl going out with a white guy named Chris. They’re at the basketball courts and the girl asks Chris to dunk and he says, “That’s for black people.” Immediately, I thought, dude that’s racist! But then I remembered that I run this blog.

Monday, August 17, 2009

I always trigger the automatic urinals before I’m done peeing. I guess it’s because my penis is too long or something.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Last Thursday, I used a bidet for the first time in my life. It made me remember how much I don't want to go to jail.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Today I saw a guy on the subway and I was all, that dude is a loser. Then I realized I was wearing the same thing I was. OTL

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Went to a rest stop today. The sticker next to the urinal read, “Tears aren’t the only thing a man shouldn’t spill.”

Monday, August 10, 2009

I Like Backwards Technology

I rented a cell phone for use during my stay in Korea, and when I want to check the time on the small lcd screen in the front, it displays an analog watch face. You know, the one that gives you the time using a small hand and a big hand rather than just telling you the time using numbers. Why? Why would the designers of the cell phone put a digital version of an analog watch when they could just put a digital one? Is there some strange watch cult that wants to estimate their time using 5 minute intervals rather than be told exactly what time it is?
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Thursday, August 6, 2009

I Like Eating Small Children

Irish Goat. Source: http://www.flickr.Image via Wikipedia

I went to a restaurant today that specialized in black goat meat. As soon as I walked in, there’s a life-size poster of a goat looking at me in the face! It wasn’t even some cartoonized friendly anthropomorphic goat, it was an actual photograph of an actual goat, looking at me in the face being all, “Dude, you’re fucking eating me!"

Question-If you consume a young goat, are you eating a kid?
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Tuesday, August 4, 2009

So I watched Stand and Deliver today. I totally thought it was going to be a movie about male urination.