Monday, November 22, 2010

I Like Mike

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Because money pals are the best pals.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

This week's episode of Glee totally stereotyped gay bullies.

And by gay bullies, I mean bullies that beat up gay people, not bullies who like other guy bullies (we'll call that type: "bully gays").

It's too often that I hear that gay bullies are only hiding their own insecurities, or worse, their own bully gayness. A lot of gay bullies just happen to hate gay people and nothing else. In this week's episode of Glee, discrimination once again runs rampant as Glee's gay bully Dave Karofsky is shown to actually be a bully gay. It's wrong for the liberal media to paint gay bullies in this negative light and I'm left only to wonder what brave soul will stand up for this oft-ridiculed minority group.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Sunday, November 14, 2010

I Like Papa Smurf's "Wood"

Actual line from my Smurfs iPod Touch application.

Papa Smurf: "I'd normally fancy taking my time getting wood, but this sounds like an emergency."

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I don't like to pee into other people's pee

Is it just me or is it really weird peeing into an already yellow, or worse brown, toilet? I don't see why this should bother me in a logical sense. Most of the times, it doesn't even smell! And it's not like I'm going to eat stuff out of the toilet, I'm peeing in it... in essence, only making it dirtier. I can't imagine what it would be like if I had been born in the 18th century America and had to poop in holes in the ground full of other people's poop. Or if I was born in 21st century India and had to poop in holes in the ground full of other people's poop.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I Like Bestiality

I don't understand why if a dog humps a man, it's funny, but if a man humps a dog, it's gross.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I Like Duke

Duke football may suck, but their lacrosse team is #1 at raping women. And their women are #1 at making powerpoint presentations about the lacrosse players who raped them.

Monday, June 28, 2010

General Tso is the Colonal Sanders of China.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Went to the DMV in Wayne today. The cast of Jersey Shore was there. I did not know Bloomin Onion was a hairstyle.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

If I become a lawyer at a large firm, I will be working at a place that also happens to describe my penis.

Monday, January 4, 2010

What I realized while watching inglourious basterds:

The Bear Jew is a much more intimidating name than Jew Bear.